Once again due to my use of the Readomattic, I have come across genuine stupidity on the net. (Yes, really)
Sometimes I really must wonder where it all comes from. This time it is from a man, A. Guy Maligned, who according to his presentation of himself has been with his significant other for 54 years. That means he’s lived for about three times as long as I have. And yet some things have apparently not occured to him. He states plainly that all the ‘wisdom’ on his blog is based on all his years of observations in different fields of work, but also (I’m guessing primarily) on his partnership with Grace. After all these years, he has seemingly concluded that all women are the same. His latest post uses a term from psychiatry about a very real and very debilitating disorder and uses it flippantly to talk down – not to but – about women.
Let me just reiterate: ADD – that is Attention Deficit Disorder – is a serious strain on a person’s life, and if undiagnosed and therefore untreated it can cause severe problems with intellectual and social development among other things. I know a couple of people who suffer from this, and it really should not be joked about, as it can be severely debilitating. Nor should it be used as flippantly as Mr. Maligned does here. In fact, his use of this title shows pretty much exactly how empathic he is, but we’d probably have figured that out from reading the post anyway. Instead, consider the title a warning.
While I will not deny that female crave attention and affection at certain times, I would argue that so do the male nature. Otherwise we would not place male sports events on national (or even world wide) television, males would not boast and brag about this or that feat. And males would not show off to females as well as each other by doing deeds of a more or less sensible nature, if it wasn’t to be confirmed in their own belief about their appropriate and sufficient masculinity. Humans are pack animals, we all crave the nearness of other humans at certain times. And yes, we do crave attention to strengthen our self-love, but Mr. Maligned seem to completely disregard the need to be loved and the need to feel that one’s company is desired by others. For some reason this applies to both genders, but Mr. Maligned has completely overlooked this. Now, the genders may express these things differently, but that has more to do with how we’ve been raised and taught to express ourselves than with our ‘nature’.
Yes. This is exactly what the patriarchy wants us to believe. That male attention and affection defines our worth. On the other hand, patriarchy also teaches that if we want such attention too much we’re sluts and worth absolutely nothing. But notice how he adds that little “or so she feels”. This shows how much Mr. Maligned has really missed. It is not women who feel that male attention defines our worth. It is something we have been told for ages, and that we’ve been fighting against for mere decades (a century – give or take). Unfortunately, not all women have been able to resist the indoctrination – such stuff is notoriously hard to resist, that’ why it’s so effective, so some women will undoubtedly feel like he says they do. But this has absolutely nothing to do with female nature, and everything to do with patriarchy.
· Compared to four or five decades ago, female self-esteem is lower.
Considering that the fashion ideal becomes harder and harder to live up to and that women are experiencing more and more harsh backlash for daring to work and be successful, that’s hardly surprising.
Self-image is twisted from having bought into feminist issues that contradict the female nature.
Oh yeah, so feminist assertions that women are individuals with individual personalities contradict female nature. Mr. Man here knows. Self-image is twisted, indeed, but mostly because the expectations and demands of women are becoming more and more twisted. And women are not the ones creating these ideals. Men are.
Consequently, females are hesitant, afraid, or ashamed to let their feminine nature shine through.
Or perhaps women are just becoming less and less likely to project a kind of femininity that was never theirs, but was rather something men had defined for us and decided was est for us. And without asking, too. But sure, it’s all the fault of feminism.
It costs women, because the male’s Affection Delivery Disorder gets worse in the absence of femininity.
This man not only hates women, he hates men, too. He honestly thinks that men can only show affection when faced with femininity. He seems to completely disregard the male potential for bonding with equals. Oh… wait, that’s right. Only other men are equals. Nevermind then. It is rather telling, though, that if men truly did suffer from this ridiculous notion of Affection Delivery Disorder, then male homosexuality would be impossible, and yet, there we are. In fact, if Mr. Man here was right, then only a tiny percentage of women, namely those who have physiologies as well as demeanours that live up to the exacting standards would ever receive any sort of affection from men. And yet, the race is not only surviving, it is proliferating, so a lot more women than just the appropriately feminine ones must receive this affection in sufficient amounts. I wonder how that could be. Taking his interpretation of human nature to it’s appropriate extreme only relationships between women would be possible in the long run, and they would most definitely be the majority of relationships. Now why doesn’t reality look like that, I wonder. Perhaps because this guy is way out of left field?
· Females adopt the idea that they can do anything and everything that men can do.
Yep. We all do this, because we’re all the same. Trufax.
It’s okay and in many cases true.
Indeed.
However, it contradicts their inherent female nature just enough that dodging femininity makes them phony to themselves.
Huh? So… doing what we’re naturally able to do is against our nature? What is this inherent female nature anyway? I’ve certanly never seen it, ’cause the women I know are all so different there’s a hardly anything we all have in common. Well, there is one thing. All the females I know have opinions, and that’s one of those things men have always thought is unfeminine in women. So what is this elusive femininity that we’re all apparently dodging? Oh yeah, and didn’t that just burn? He called us phony. Ohhhh, I must go and sob and eat chocolate now. Not. If phony means that I’m my own person and not attempting in vain to live up to impossible patriarchal standards, then I’m cool with being phony. But I doubt that’s what Mr. Man here meant.
Thus weakened, their self-image does not prevent them from doing things contrary to their best and especially female-specific interests.
So… our self-image ought to be preventing us from doing bad stuff. And who do we have to thank for that? Patriarchy, thank you very much. Our self-image is crap, because the image we’re supposed to live up to is, in fact, unnatural as all hell. But this apparently makes us do things contrary to our best interests. Like what? Work and make our own money? Live happy single lives? Live with partners we’re not married to? Have babies before we’re wed? Not have babies at all? Yeah, I can see how our self-image has really failed us there. And what are these female-specific interests? Like I said above: only thing I’ve noticed women to have in common is opinions. And that’s hardly a female-specific interest. But I’m guessing Mr. Man here is talking about having babies, cooking and cleaning. Possibly sewing as well. ‘Cause that’s what all women really want, donchaknow.
With a shortage of self-respect and self-confidence, they rely more on emotional than rational thought, and men have an advantage and usually take it.
What can I do but laugh? Women are actually growing more and more confident – especially on the job market. An while we’re far from equal pay still, we’re slowly moving in the right direction. Women don’t rely on emotional thought. It’s mostly that we’re human and therefore we have emotions. And in order to live happy lives, we have to take into account those emotions, since, you know, happy is an emotion. You can’t attain an emotional state without working with your emotions. Something men seem to have overlooked for ages. But he’s right that men have an advantage and that they take it. The advantage isn’t rational thought, though. The advantage is called male privilege. Making conscious use of the advantage makes you smart, of course. It also makes you an asshole.
· The popularity of unmarried sex causes males to lose unconditional respect for the female gender.
Interestingly enough, most men seem to be enjoying the unmarried sex far too much to actually care. The men who have unconditional respect for others are generally naïve (same goes for women), but the men who lose respect for women based on their sex lives are generally not worth much in the humane department anyway. No great loss.
Among teens it’s atrocious.
Yes, because teenage sexuality is dangerous and unnatural! Wait… no, it’s perfectly natural, that’s kinda why it goes on. We do need to teach teenage boys to be less caveman-like, though, and stop pressuring girls to have sex with them. Perhaps we can prevent those teenage boys-will-be-boys from growing up to become rapists. That’d be awfully nice. But, see, it’s all feminists’ fault, ’cause they totally destroyed the nice patriarchal notion of the proper woman, and now women have become all uppity and non-conforming, and there’s really naught the men can do to behave themselves. They’re helpless against the allure that is the unfeminine woman. Wait… didn’t he just say men were the rational ones?
Males, as competing hunter-conquerors, see females as dumb for not guarding their negotiable assets.
And since males view women as stupid (mentally disadvantaged) for wanting to have sex with men, and they still use the opportunity to have sex with these women. What does that tell us about these men? I know. Assholes, apparently. Also, don’t you just love how Mr. Man here makes no secret of viewing women as possessing sex that men want to buy from us. Negotiable assets. Sheesh. Just because a woman has sex with a man, she doesn’t somehow lose the sex. She still has it. But for someone who thinks sex is something women give away that must be hard to fathom. Also, did you just notice how a woman’s sexual interaction is negotiable? Here’s news for you, douchebag, sex is not an asset. It’s an action; an optional action at that. And if she says yes, it means yes, and if she says no, it means no. It is not negotiable. This guy is turning out to be more and more creeptastic the further it goes.
But women need frequent and sometimes continual reaffirmation of their value to someone else to confirm their self-love.
For some reason this guy confuses personal worth with narcissism. Everybody – not just women – need reaffirmation of their vale to someone else. It’s called the need for human interaction, to be assured that you’re someone worth spending time with, to be assured that you’re a good person and is doing something right. But oh no, men don’t need that. In this guy’s world, men don’t need to be assured that they’re doing things right. My guess is: because in his world men can do no wrong, and therefore they need not be told that they’re right. Show me the man who – after a period of non-interaction – didn’t miss the pats on the back when he scored a goal, or did something difficult. I dare ya. Human interaction – it’s necessary for being human. If you do not need human interaction in some degree you seriously need your head checked. Even I, who have a diagnosis making me shun human interaction 90% of the time with 99% of the people around me, still need human interaction in the remaining time from the special few people I can stand to be around. It’s part of the human condition, the needing others bit. If you believe that men don’t need to be valued by others, then you’re fooling yourself.
This drives females toward this paradox: For reaffirmation they provide sex. Having given it, men lose unconditional respect for the female gender. With less respect for the gender, the love of men weakens for individual females. With less pronounced femininity, a man’s A.D.D. gets worse.
There is so much wrong here, but it explains patriarchy so well. Note how he thinks women seek affirmation through sex. Newsflash: mostly it’s release and sex we seek, when we decide to have sex. Note how he admits that after having had sex with one woman, a man will now think poorly of the entire gender, and he still claims men are the rational ones. Note how he admits that just because one woman had sex with a man, this man is now completely unable to respect and even LOVE all other women. And then to top it off: Apparently, when men, due to lack of respect for women, can no longer love them women lose their femininity. This totally disproves his entire point. It is not feminists who ruined femininity; it is the fact that men can’t respect women that steals women’s femininity away. He just said so himself. It is men making us all unfeminine with their lack of respect and love. Basically it’s just another way of saying that by making impossible standards for femininity, the majority of women have purposefully been defined as unfeminine. And they blame it on the feminists, ’cause we’re so convenient scapegoats. Bah!
· When men show less respect, it reflects that women are somehow lacking something.
That’s what you’d think, yes. And at first most women will be very hurt and saddened by the lack of respect we get from men. And most of us have been through the poor self-esteem treadmill. But the truth is: The only thing women are lacking that causes men like this guy to not respect us is… *drumroll* … dicks. It is quite clear that this guy (and unfortunately many like him) cannot respect any woman, who does anything that he disapproves of ie. anything that she decides for herself. So let me amend the statement he made: When men show less respect, it reflects that they are somehow misogynist and unable to deal with the fact that women are individuals and have the capablity to make their own choices that may or may not include them(the men).
This does two things: It further lowers female self-image, which weakens their sense of control of their lives.
Of course it does. Because to tell women that are failures if they are unfeminine, and thereafter to set standards of femininity that are unattainable will do that. If it were a one-time event it wouldn’t be so bad, and we might be able to laugh it off. But the truth is that most women hear these messages all the fucking time from when they’re born till they go to their graves. It’d be a miracle if we weren’t affected by it. And it’s not just that it weakens our sense of control. It also weakens our actual control. In many places a job will go to the applicant who performs femininity better than the others. In most places more respect and leeway will be offered to the woman, who performs femininity better. This not only affects our emotions (which, to the manly men are, of course, unimportant) it also affect our very real lived lives. And this guy just doesn’t get that. To him it’s an abstract problem that women brought upon themselves, because they refused to leave their individuality at the door (ie. birth), and it will likely never be anything more than that, because he sees to be completely unable to empathise that WE ARE REAL PEOPLE. He sets the bar for respect so high that he will seldom, if ever, have to respect any woman – and that’s very convenient indeed. The real kicker is: it’s not even true respect. It’s an arbitrary scale of grading women, and that is terribly degrading. It was never about respect, because men who think like this, are not actually capable of respecting women.
Lack of a sense of control then pushes women easily into desperation and toward depression.
Actually a lack of real control does it even more efficiently. But all the while that he argues that women should have less control, he derides us for setting ourselves up to have a SENSE of lack of control. Isn’t that just sweet. By doing what he advocates, we would relinquish what little control we do have, but we would totally gain a sense of control and we’d feel better. Isn’t that so sweet and caring of him? Sounds like concern-trolling to me.
In the end, the more intense her affection deficit, the more intense becomes his disorder for showing attention and delivering affection.
Rephrase: In the end, the more intense his unwillingness to provide respect and human interaction, the more resolved she’ll be to dump him and find someone who can respect and love her, without all the conditions of ideologized hyper-femininity.
The rest of this guy’s blog is the same kind of misogynist drivel, and everything is based around the premise that women are not really people. We’re all the same, with the same wants and desires, and therefore a basic behaviour scheme will charm any woman. To that I can only say:
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
What’s not so funny is his total disrespect for the ADD diagnosis and his flippant attitude to both that and depression. Not cool. Not okay.